Every day presents a challenge, or an opportunity, depending on how you look at it. I feel like I am making good progress, but there are still so many moments where either back pain or depression roars up and the only way I am coping is by reminding myself that I had a Good Moment only a few minutes ago… and this will pass.
I’m seeing an amazing chiropractor (I had my neck adjusted for the first time yesterday. Yes, it was scary. No, it didn’t hurt. Yes, it makes a horrible sound) and we decided based on whole body symptoms to try some adrenal support. This is based on my general exhaustion, and how I feel like I hit a point in my day where my body just stops functioning — and that’s also when I seem to burst into tears for no apparent reason. Most of my body is feeling better, but the pinched nerve pain and general inflexible spine are still in play. There’s definitely the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel, it’s just a matter of how much damage the train is going to sustain along the way.
I think being me is more draining than being around me, but I still feel like I am a complete bummer to be around. My friends and family are really hanging in there, hearing me carry on about basically the same thing over and over (also, blog readers, thank you for reading all this!) — I think it’s because I am living with this constant miserable dialogue in my head all day, and I just assume everyone else can hear it. I’m not quite sure how the Porcupine is managing to be basically on call for whether I want company or not, or how he manages to interpret my incohorent sobbing ramblings, but he is. Ditto for my best friend, who I lean on heavily in these times, for deciphering my written chats complete with typos, and providing free therapy techniques.
No art today, but lots of sketches bouncing around in my brain. Also, Inkotober starts soon! I’m psyched to see if I can finish the whole month again ☺️