Why I am jealous of musicians
/Firstly, I am jealous because I wish I had a good singing voice or skills with any instrument. Second, I am jealous because it seems from watching family and friends, they can be uninspired and pick up their instrument and noodle around on it for a while… and if nothing sounds good, oh well, they had fun and they put the instrument back. There’s no recording that they have to listen to and decide whether to trash or not, nothing feels “wasted.”
Today when I picked up my sketchbook, with all the grand intentions to work on the pile of art projects I have, I doodled around for a while. And then I stared at my doodles and how bad they were. And then I had to decided whether to leave them in my sketchbook or rip them out and burn them. And agonize over why I had chosen my Good Sketchbook instead of my crappy one, I felt like I wasted a few sheets of nice paper.
I wish I could “play around” with my drawings and not have to look at them afterwards, because I start feeling more anxious about putting pen to paper. I am trying to so hard to begin my Christmas Countdown calendar, and wrap up 2 promised projects that I can’t seem to finish. I’ll get there.
