There are donuts at the end of this, and all is well. Tuesday was Therapy Day and I had wound myself up by listening to a new-to-me audio about Non-Violent Communication (which sounds way scarier than it really is)… It was pretty interesting, and I was following along while working, and then they started discussing how people can feel that their needs are a burden on others. And in my usual way I started crying for no apparent reason. Well, I mean, the reason WAS apparent, something they said had set off my Neural Pathway Rollercoaster.
Isn’t that interesting? Say it out loud “My needs are a burden to others.” Can you relate to that? Do you express a need to someone and then immediately say “Nah, it’s okay, never mind.” or “… don’t worry about it if it’s a hassle…”? I do. I mean, within reason. If I need a hand getting up because I sat cross-legged too long I will ALWAYS take the offered hand. But if I am needing emotional support, it’s much harder. I feel like I am being silly, and often times, if I do ask, it’s worse when the person says “Yes” to fulfilling my need, because I think they are doing it from a place of looking down on me, or they think I am whiney, and basically they are helping begrudgingly.
The audio I was listening to continued — about how when our needs are unmet, usually because we aren’t asking for them to be filled, we can start feeling hostile and depressed… why? Because our needs aren’t being met. Because we haven’t asked anyone to meet them. This is a tidy little cycle.
Basically all this led up to a very interesting discussion with my therapist, and then another interesting discussion with a good friend, and then the Porcupine came over while I was in the middle of a well-deserved bubble bath (learning is important but exhausting). Oh, and yes, he brought donuts. And left the box half full with me in the morning. And all my will power went out the window. I’ll save that for my next therapy session. Donuts. This was all really about the donuts.